Normally Gordon Ramsay [click here to watch full episodes of Kitchen Nightmares] finds restaurants with freaks and characters sinking under the weight of their own incompetence, but last night he found a sinking restaurant filled with likable people who needed focus and discipline to get their strip mall eatery back on track. The problem with cute and likable people in the kitchen is they become more interested in playing grab ass than making great timely meals, and this Fair Lawn, New Jersey joint was grabbing more ass than a proctology convention.
Gordon’s first task with owner Joe? Lose the overstock inventory in the fridge. He had enough food in the icebox to supply a busy restaurant for months, and being a slow and small eatery all that food was going to waste. As always Gordon advised this owner to scale down his menu. What is it about the hacks that run these restaurants that makes them think they have to offer every dish imaginable in order to attract customers? When I go out to eat I consider it a favor if I don’t have to spend 15 minutes perusing a crowded menu. Tell me what I’m eating, narrow it down for me, choice is overrated.
In addition to trimming the menu GR also exhorted Joe to cut down on portion size as everyone left with leftovers; that’s a lot of wasted food that amounts to extra costs and sagging profits. Since Gordon was on a minimizing tear he went ahead and cut a few warm bodies from the floor, four fewer cheeks to grab and distract a (hopefully) busy waitstaff. The changes put in place were minimal and the results seemed pretty convincing, and even though a few customers complained about the food and service Gordon in a rare moment of new loyalty rushed to Joe’s defense and called the complainer an “old bag”. Ha! That red headed bastard can be a pistol. Joe had a few bobbles and left the kitchen for too long to chit chat with waiting customers, but he was not too far from the Ramsay miracle and after a pep talk and a swift fanny kick returned to helm the stove and turned around the restaurant in the nick o’ time. Gordon expressed his faith in Joe and his family, and hopefully this good guy will take these changes to heart and make his restaurant great.
