Our Reality Remixer, Kennedy, taps into last week's most incredible Project Runway episode.
Surprise, Surprise: Last week’s show promised a gasp worthy fashion icon to die for and design for on the Runway, and we’ve seen this clown car leave the circus before. Barbie anyone? Do you remember Santino charming the knickers off Nicky Hilton? Who were they going to get this year, Tara Reid? Behold the power of the most popular reality show in the entire landscape. I present the mole bearer herself, SJP.
Fabulous Moments In TV: When Sarah Jessica Parker waltzed through the FIT doors and into Tim Gunn’s waiting arms I thought I had fallen asleep only to awaken in a fabulous dream, like the one where my husband let me date Oscar De La Hoya for a week or that one where me and Madonna became best friends and shopped around Prague in matching forest green crushed velvet pant suits. Unreal! I soon realized Mrs. Shrewd McBroderickson was actually shilling for her bargain line Bitten, but still! It’s SJP and she’s on cable, not the arty kind where you get to swear, but actual cable with commercials!
Designers had to pitch Sarah and her mole (and her very taut face) a 2 piece line that would retail under $40, and I was surprised how honestly the star reacted to the crap pitches. Usually everyone’s just so damn nice! Chris March was so taken aback he actually started crying, but his waterworks were in vain as Sarah balked at his pitch and seemed to look off camera for guidance from a producer or her security detail. She picked Elisa, Kit, Victorya, Marion, Ricky, Christian and Rami’s designs, and this magnificent seven had to choose a partner from the remaining 7 rejects.
Nuts & Bolts: Elisa is crazy as a Barrymore on a dope binge and has a new age lexicon that would dwarf Deepak Chopra at a seminar of Sedona cat ladies. After last week’s jersey disaster I thought she’d surely find her way stuck to the bottom of this week’s boot, but miraculously (and with some crafty partnering with Sweet P) she was saved from the tread and dazzled Carrie Bradshaw with her dress and poncho combo. You have to realize however that SJ has worked with both Kim Catrall and Patricia Fields, so middle aged crazy might not phase her now. The other stand out was Victorya and Kevin’s swing dress with the big bow and cute racer back vest that got cat calls from the catty judges, and even SJP called her sweet vest “lovely”, which is an adjective she overuses as much as her Laura Mercier crème blush. It was a slugfest til the end with Victorya narrowly edging out Elisa from completing her Cinderella worst-to-first come from behind victory. That would have been a little TOO trite, because though the girls did have an appetizing pair that sings harmoniously next to anything in the Bitten line it just wasn’t as stylish as Vic and Kev’s higher end dress and vest.
In a reverse fate Christian went from being the shit to becoming the piss boy as his retro 80s creation looked too costumey and dated to impress Sarah. She thought the design looked too “severe” in person, and said if it had more length and less snugness it might have fared better. Translation: this could only be worn by a slut, not a properly married rags-to-riches Buckeye who persevered over adversity to become Annie and Carrie in one lifetime. This only left poor Marion and limp Steve who tried to go high end with a frumpy limp knit that looked like a skinned ewok that was used as a stand in for Weekend at Bernie’s 3: Do You Smell That?
Auf Weidersein: They were doomed the moment their vivisectioned muppet flopped onto the runway in a heap Heidi called “dirty” and “out of the basement”. Ouch. There are taste problems and execution problems and problems with design, but when you misfire on all three it is a handwritten invitation for a Judas’ kiss blown in German. Auf weidersein. Marion my dear boy, you’re out.
Personal Opinion: I have got my eye firmly fixed on the Runway, and if there is one show you have to catch on the go it’s this one. Download it today and rewatch in ecstasy on a long plane flight or a slow day at the office. My other pick to nab for your PDA is Everest: Beyond the Limit on Discovery. Both these shows can be watched and rewatched for clues and juicy bits you may have missed the first go round.
