Fancast: Inside TV

As I said what a day.

I only had a Chinese Chicken salad at 7:15PST for food. I try not to eat airport food, something about massive amounts of cholesterol floating through my veins at 30,000 feet scares me. So that’s it. Now, 45 minutes after eating, I’m running, er, typing, solely on love. Forgive me if I’m a little clinical on this blog. I’ve got two shows to cover, a homey to console, and a song to finish writing. It’s 8:00PST

GO!!!

Hotlanta!! My other hometown. The state of my birth. Paula looking fine. Who dressed Ryan? I probably know them, so I’m not gonna bust on em too much. I was hatched in Columbus, GA, and my pops, Eldrin Bell, still lives in GA. He was the unofficial Mayor of the audience…look him up.

Joshua Jones: I think he watched, and studied Freddie Mercury a little to much. He flashed the eyes, and the judges clenched their tuchasses in fear. Wow, Paula’s dress is really short (that will make my eyes bug). Karaoke, weird eyes, a good voice, if he would drop the theatrics…but he goes through!! I think the judges did him a favor in this one. I want to see massive improvement in Hollywood or I’m gonna think that they put him through just so they could hack him off at the knees for the pleasure of the crowd. Lucky alright!

JP: Dreams of Carrie, and a violent Pink shirt. People tell him he’s gonna be famous, and now he is. For all the wrong reasons. It’s like a bad Junior High musical audition. I appriciate his honesty and forthrighness (is that a word). He’s a music major, a “singing” major, no less…and he’s about to exit. Shocking.
Paula is too sweet for her own good. I love the dynamic between Simon and Paula. It’s like the red-headed step-child proverb…only in reverse.

Asia Aperson: I smell the human interest story (the piano gives it away every time). WOW. She’s a strong girl. Fresh from the loss of her Father, she goes on and sings very well. There’s an amazing amount of spirit, and strength out of this girl. Not surprisingly a great amount raw emotion. I am actually really proud of her and Idol for their honest portrayal of a difficult and touching situation. Congrats to Asia.

God I love Georgia peaches!!!

Oh honey…oh, honey. Yet another person who didn’t watch the other seasons where sweet, ditzy, nice people are made complete asses of. She nails it, and the judges string her out like a crack whore, and it’s a yes. A yes with a verbal backhand from Simon after she leaves.

Thus comes the greatest hits compilation. Fergie is happy cause she’s making money off the song rights, but the judges are hurting…have to be hurting. I’d rather take a wire clothes-hanger, leave it on a hot stove for about a half-hour and then shove…ah well you know what I’m trying to say. God Bless the judges.

Eva: Sweept the floor with her tights. Is it an act? Professions of love, looking deeply in Simons eyes. Does the act matter? The judges are trying to understand where she’s coming from. They even give her a hug, and tell her, very gently ‘no’

Oh man…I knew it. I knew it. Ok, I’m ethnic- half African-American/Italian, and proud of it….so I can say this. Why is it that the majority of the bitter post-rejection rants have to come from the ethnic folk? I’ll give it to Eva, she was tame, and politely (sort of politely) upset. It’s a bigot’s dream. There have been some rants from some rejectees that have set our peoples back a few decades. Martin didn’t die for that, people. Now lets smile, and move on…

Alexandra Lushington: Ok, duh she can sing, and I happen to lioke Funny Valentine. 16!!! Are you kidding me??? Wow. I’m in love with her Grandmother. Why didn’t we see more of her singing???

Clay montage…

Then the cherry on top! Michael Gregory!!!It’s not the voice…that was pretty good. Oh wait it’s Jarred!! I’m so high on bad talent right now. I should have eaten something!

A bedroom audition, huh? Refused to spoon?? I’m in heaven. The kid’s got spirit, a bad haircut (like I should talk…hahah!) but a great spirit.

Amanda Bikernurse: Finally, someone who can really rock. She has a great voice that’s obvious, but is she one-dimensional? I hope not. She reminds me of a Gothic (in a good way) version of Kelly. I think Kelly’s got her beat by a country mile.

Throwing a curve ball at us, we end up seeing Josiah in the compelling human-interest story, lord he was born a rambling man… with no education… doing the best he can. I want this kid to make it, I have a funnnnny feeling he will. But wow, if I had to live in a car, I’m not sure which possessions I’d decide were most valuable. If you could only take five possessions with you, what would they be? Would it be your original accent? Cause that wasn’t on Josiah’s list!

I’d say this audition was odd, but yet I remember artists like Billy Joe from Green Day, who never stepped foot in England, yet they sang with an accent. My buddy, Shaun used to perform at concerts with him in the old school, saying his performing accent was a s thick as Cockney, yet he had a California dialogue when speaking. I hope Josiah’s home doesn’t get towed while he’s in L.A.

Till the next one...

homepage photo credit: Matt Beard