By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel
So, we’ve been through all the rough seas that are the sum total of Hollywood week. Or have we? I’m actually shocked that they’re picking the 24. Why wouldn’t Fox milk the living heck out of the process for more advertising dollars? What’s that you say…because this season it's about the contestants. I got it!
Rather than pick up with my story, I'm going to make you wait and continue discussing last night's Top 24 show. (I'm actually writing as I watch it, so you'll have to put up with the lapse in time. Just pretend we're all watching together at some joint in Hollywood. Let's try that sometime. Maybe Fancast will kick in for the chips.)
For starters, let me say I love Ryan. But is it just me or is the phrase “This……(pregnant pause)…. is American Idol” is becoming a parody of its self? Let me hear from you in that comment section. In fact, go on and on telling me what you like or don't like or ask some questions and I'll do my best to come up with answers.
Then what's up with that elevator? The elevator of death. I thought we had outlawed torture in this country. Right? I’m so glad that I never had to do that. We waited in a room together, deep in the bowels of the Civic Center.
Carly (DUHHHHH!) Tortured. Making it through, I would have rioted if she went home. Top 5 unless something drastic happens. The second “Duh!” of the night comes in the form of David Archuleta. Double duh, actually
I love how they said that Kristy Lee Cook was forced to sing for her life. I was kidding about the firing squad…she makes it.
No only has Idol got the best line-up of talent, but they also have the most dramatic, and invested group of people I’ve seen on the show. These people are really, really, banking on this show.
The third DUH!!! Comes on the heels of Brooke White’s exit from the judges' chambers.
So far, I’m very happy with the choices, but come on, give me a twist! I think it’s gonna come with the guy who lives in his car. Just a feeling.
Oh man, I wanted Drew to make it. Everyone needs a little country. Bucky made it a few seasons ago, and he’s probably one of the most naturally hilarious people I know…and I mean the laugh with kind of hilarious, not laugh at.
The Aussie Michael Johns…wow, shocker, makes it.
Sayesha…lost her voice, not a good sign. I had a slight doubt…but she goes through.
Aisha…hmmm, I wonder if she’s gonna make it. She’s a great singer, and had a great (albit tragic) story. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I’m bored…
Ah, Josiah Lemming…did he jump off of a cliff with his last performance? I think we might have a twist on our hands. I doubt they’ll axe him, he good television. America will vote for him…I KNEW IT!!! The twist!!! Wow. I smelled it, then doubted it. Wow. That hurts. He would have been something. He looks like he’s had a 50lb weight put on his chest. This is where I get creeped out by the cameras. Ouch, do they have to capture every tear? Ouch. My hear hurts for this guy, but lesson learned.
Kyle vs. Colton-
I’m betting on Kyle, come on! Whoa. Who knew. Simon says that he was the one who wanted Kyle. A hug from Paula sooths Kyles spirit. Politics is no place for and American Idol,and Kyle has some great things ahead of him.
Ok..now this is where it gets interesting.
Joanne vs. Cardin…they always pit the two girls against (not literally) each other at the end of the Hollywood round. Will the judges pick the slender and attractive professional singer (who’s pretty easy on the eyes, but knows she’s easy on the eyes) or the very attractive professional model (who’s probably thinking to herself…if they take this skinny #!%@$ over me, I’m gonna loose it). I actually wasn’t impressed with either package they showed of them, but I’m not the one judging.
Cardin is hot, no doubt, but thank goodness they made the right choice. A beautiful and talented Joanne goes through.
Ah, no surprises here. Except Josiah. I would have liked to have seen him make it through…although I couldn’t have imagined that his “English” sound would have made it through to the finals.
Speaking of thinking, I think I was wrong when I said that we sang solo first. Regardless. Here’s how it went-
After we did the whole “hurry up and wait” thing, I sang in the chorus line from hell and prayed that I wouldn’t be the one chopped on the first day. The night before was a little unsettling. All one-hundred and something of us sat in as auditorium and listened to the Idol lawyer (the one that represented the show, not us) talk about the in’s and outs of the contract. In- our opportunity of a lifetime. Out- our rights as human beings. You think I’m joking, and I’m actually laughing as I write this, but I wasn’t then.
I guess it all comes out in the wash. People have done some pretty scandalous things for promotions in life, my worst was temporarily signing my life away…didn’t hurt too much. While we tried to stay awake through the Legalese, I notices the cameras flitting around. Man they take footage of everything. I reminded myself to check the toilet seats before I sat down.
Hey, if Chuck Berry can get away with it, no one’s safe. Just as I was feeling like I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon, listening to the “Wah-Wah” of the adults, A wiry gentleman stepped up on the stage, clapped the attorney on the shoulder and sent him shuffling away. This was the same man that was in the audition room with me. I came to find out his name was Nigel.
Nigel told us in no uncertain terms that we were in for it. Plain and simple. Unlike other reality shows, I’m proud to report that Idol pulls no punches…at least not on the contestants…well at least not on us, the first season of contestants. We were told that the show was designed to test, strain, and push us to the limits…so be ready.
We were also told that what we did in front of the camera would be kept, and manipulated in any manner they chose fit. I was listening, and they were being very honest, and in a sense looking out for the well being of the contestants…and yet some people weren’t listening…and make themselves look like donkeys.
Live on to sing another day.
After I sang in front of my peers and got a nice review from the judges, I sat with the rest of the contestants not being called into the auditorium, and (tah-dah) waited. I never fully understood the phrase “Idle hands, make the Devils work” until I was sitting in a huge room of beautiful and talented people. I quickly made friends with a few people, stunning people. I remember it well.
I’ve never been shy around girls. I almost got sent to an all boys school over it actually...my Jr. High teachers gathered with me in a conference room and told me that I wasn’t doing my work on account of the fact that I flirted too much. I don’t type this with pride (ok, maybe a little), but with honest and open embarrassment…mingled with a bit of an impish tingle. My Mother was seriously considering transferring me to an all boys school “LaSalle”. I would have died like a grape on the vine when a frost hits.
Fortunately for me, I found a nice balance of flirting and work, and have maintained it throughout my life, as best I can. It was that balance that came in handy during the hormonal festival for everyone, that was called Hollywood week. Now, I’m not telling tales out of school nor am I insinuating that it was a love fest. I never came into anything other than platonic contact with anyone during Hollywood week. There were some girls that I hugged a lot, and that sat on my lap a lot, but nothing untoward. After all, I had a girlfriend, and many of us had people waiting, and supporting us, back at home.
Half of you are going home.
The lines were drawn, and then slashed and burned. I made the cut, but not before we were told to step forward and pray that the front line wasn’t the one going home. With my heart in my throat I heard the good news. My ordeal was far from over though.
The triangle is the strongest structure in nature. Or is it?
We were informed, after the hugging and goodbye’s to our fellow castofee’s, that we were to be paired up in 3’s for the group stage. Christopher Aaron and Khaleef Chiles were my partners. I think we called ourselves the shades, or the shades of sound. Whatever, we got a long like gangbusters and quickly worked out a routine that saw us work ourselves into a winning combination. Others were not so lucky. Some just didn’t get along (gee, wonder why they were put together) and others just cried. It was going to be a long week…
Next week, more tales from Hollyweird, and a great group of Idols vying for your vote.
It’s getting to the good part folks…
J
homepage photo credit: Matt Beard
Comments (20)
The name of this show needs to be changed to 'Legal Torture'.
First the cruelty of leading contestants to believe they are getting the boot; but, keeping them, then showing the contestants losing it in the elevators. That is low. Did Simon come up with the idea? Oh wait, they are trying to show him in a better light this season; but, we know better.
I'm betting the cameras were in those restrooms somewhere, and wondering when those shots will show up on the net.
Posted by Susie | February 14, 2008 7:35 PM
Posted on February 14, 2008 19:35
"We were also told that what we did in front of the camera would be kept, and manipulated in any manner they chose fit."
You got to love a show that tells you they will do whatever they want with you, and manipulate you in any way they see fit.
Posted by Danica | February 14, 2008 10:55 PM
Posted on February 14, 2008 22:55
Justin,
I don't think I heard anything Ryan said the other night...I couldn't get past the EYELINER...do you know if he is trying out for the next "Pirates of the Carribean"? What's with all that makeup? LOL
Posted by Jinx | February 15, 2008 12:01 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 00:01
So you almost got sent to an all-boys school for the crime of flirting?!! Imagine that.... LOL I would expect no less from the Master of the Eyeboink, now that we know you have been perfecting it since puberty!
I could answer what I do not like about AI sooner than what I like at this point. What I don't like is the set-up, over and over, of vulnerable young artists (and pseudo-artists, and even con artists, LOL). We all know what is going to happen from the get-go, as we have seen it for six seasons already. It's all about finding the next "American Idol", and manipulating the populace into believing that it's about the talent, and not what can be marketed later. And then the winner is finally "selected", and the rest of the Idols are dropped off the face of the earth, unless they can find someone who thinks they can be marketed in some profitable way as well. Yes, there are a few anomalies, but we know too well that AI is not about supporting the artists, but only the cash cows. Call me cynical, I don't mind... LOL Sure, AI makes for some good TV, but so did the Romans think that throwing Christians to the lions made for good sport! (We all know what happened to Rome soon after... LOL)
What I like about AI is that it brought you to our national consciousness, and we have been able to enjoy and support your artistic efforts ever since. I have not been invested emotionally in AI since the first season, since I place all my bets on you!
As to whether AI is a parody of itself at this point, let's refer to the dictionary for a definition of a parody:
1 : a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule
2 : a feeble or ridiculous imitation
Hmm... I say yes on both counts, as AI makes public ridicule of musical performers, i.e. chopping them off at the knees for the viewing public's pleasure (and maybe for Simon's, LOL). Also in that viewing AI is like watching a magic show and knowing all the secrets behind each trick; the illusion can be maintained no longer. The man behind the curtain ala the Wizard of Oz has been revealed to be a feeble and at times ridiculous imitiation of itself. Ah, to be blissfully ignorant and hopeful once again.... at least re AI.
Posted by Lynn | February 15, 2008 12:09 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 00:09
Green jacket on Hollywood 411! WOO! I win at life.
I like...Michael Johns. I think.
It's still hard to say. Too early!
I probably liked Sanjaya at this time last season too.
Psh.
Posted by Katie | February 15, 2008 12:35 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 00:35
Yes, I liked Sanjaya in the early shows too. A lot of this is about perseverence. Its like a test of endurance. Who can handle it through all the stress, and still maintain their voice. lol.
Posted by Mary | February 15, 2008 12:40 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 00:40
What I don't like about AI. That would take too long to type out. Heh. Let's just say, the manipulation. The winner is chosen by the producers (I'm sorry, I'll never believe otherwise) and we are manipulated into thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I'm very cynical about it all, which is why I'm no longer watching. I enjoy reading your experiences and can't wait for your next blog!
Posted by Christy | February 15, 2008 2:08 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 02:08
I love reading your blog. Thank you for sharing your insights and adventures. I am glad that playing instruments was allowed during the Hollywood rounds this year. It is a shame that they only showed a few that were successful at it. I like American Idol and was very glad to discover you but I am beginning to tire of the same old tricks and manipulation year after year. Why do the producers feel that they have to"dumb down" the show and beat viewers over the head with certain plots. We know when to cry at hard luck stories and when to rejoice at incredible talent. We also know who to vote for. We don't need to be told this person is better than the other. I know what I like and all the good judges' comments in world won't make me change my mind.
The more I watch the show the more I discover that it has never been about finding great talent but creating "great" or not so great television. Mostly, the show is about finding cookie cutters that fit in industry boxes of what is hot or needed at the moment. Occasionally, a "diamond in the rough" glimmers through the haze of producers bad edits and the judges' apathy but the diamonds usually never fit their cookie cutter boxes so they fade into obscurity or continue to hone their craft and perfect their shimmer without the support of the masses or "the establishment".
What do you think would happen if judges' comments weren't heard until after the voting was over? Would the result be the same or would it be a completely different show? What if the coronation songs matched the strengths of both finalists and not just one? What if the judges were replaced, would the show continue to be a success? What if the talent was truly undiscovered and not those who had lost record contracts in the past or were successful on other reality programs?
Posted by Joyce | February 15, 2008 2:42 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 02:42
I have to agree with all of the above comments. This show is brutal. I tune in to hear good singers sing good songs; but, the singing is just a little something extra thrown in very briefly.
Instead, we see pregnant pauses that have become absurd, ridiculous contestants, judges in need of replacement, along with Ryan. No wonder I watch so few shows these days.
How interesting that your blogs are far more entertaining than the show.
Posted by Lee | February 15, 2008 8:34 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 08:34
All these complaints about the show, yet 30 million people are tuning in. What does that tell you? Is the vast majority of the audience so clueless they don't know they are being manipulated, or do they know it and don't care? Given that less than 10% of the audience buys the CDs of people from the show, I guess that tells you this is entertainment and most don't care how the people on the show are treated. You all are two dimensional characters.
They might as well give the contestants swords and let them do that Highlander thing Justin talked about in his prior blog. Make it a Roman coliseum and let people scream for real blood. Simon gives the thumbs down and out come the lions. Oh, how happy that would make him.
Posted by Yaya | February 15, 2008 10:59 AM
Posted on February 15, 2008 10:59
Great comments Yaya and Joyce. I agree with both of you because despite my complaints about the show I too am one of the millions who tune in weekly and yet have only purchased one Idols CD. The viewership simply does not translate into Cd sales and I'm not sure tptb really care. It's all about the Neilson ratings for them.
As for this season and in seasons past I barley know the top 24 with the exception of the highly pimped few. So how does a Jason Castro compete when I have not heard a single note from him? The obvious answer is, he doesn't. Now mind you he has a unique look which may save him week 1 and if he can actually sing then top 12 is a real possibility, but it's an up hill battle. And for most it will be one song and out. I realize this is one the many ways they manipulate the viewers and ultimately the winner, but would it kill them to let us hear the top 24 constants before they vie for our votes. Just a thought.
Anyway, at this point I'm feeling Michael Johns and Asia'h Epperson....it's early so we'll see.
Posted by Sandy | February 15, 2008 1:37 PM
Posted on February 15, 2008 13:37
Interesting. I thought the contestants got to choose their groups. Do you know if later seasons got choose? I'm thinking of a clip from Season 2 when Kim and Frenchie said no one wanted to be in their group.
Posted by ExMenudoFan | February 15, 2008 5:41 PM
Posted on February 15, 2008 17:41
Hey, Justin, what do you think about the fact that the Top 24 this year is full of people who can't really be called "undiscovered?" Besides Carly, who had a major label flop of huge proportions, there's Michael Johns, who had a major contract with a band and supposedly quit just before they were to release an album so he could keep the music for himself. Syesha was on "The One," David A. on "Star Search," someone was in a boyband, and I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting.
It's too much of a coincidence that all these people show up in the same season, especially after last season was so weak. It gives a lot of support to the plant theories.
Posted by Jamie | February 16, 2008 10:43 AM
Posted on February 16, 2008 10:43
"Katie:
Green jacket on Hollywood 411! WOO! I win at life.
I like...Michael Johns. I think.
It's still hard to say. Too early!
I probably liked Sanjaya at this time last season too.
Psh."
Haha yeah woohoo I love the green jacket too :)!! We both win haha. And lmfao at you liking Sanjaya early on mehhh....hehe....
Anyway, I'm one who has watched AI since first season(best season ever and ever will be). So far this season I really like David Archuleta because he can SING!! I'm also kind of in between with Kristy Lee Cook and Brooke White--don't know who I like better yet. Maybe the next few weeks will change who knows, we'll see. AI is a machine/phenomenon and as it maintains the viewership it has maintained it will continue. And since AI is managed by 19 Entertainment(blehh...) and FremantleMedia all they care about is the monetary rewards of it and finding someone who can make them money; they don't care about finding someone who can make music and add to the MUSIC industry which is what it should be about--that is why I say that FIRST SEASON is,was, and always will be the BEST...SEASON...EVER!!!!! Thank You, Kelly and Justin for being on the first season :)
Posted by Amanda | February 16, 2008 3:57 PM
Posted on February 16, 2008 15:57
The weeks prior to the top 24 singing are predictable, heartwrenching and annoying all at once. Let's just get to the singing please!! And I wonder how the singers who got absolutely no 'face' time feel..there are several who made it through who we never heard sing a note! And did there not used to be some AI rule that a 'contestant' was inelligible if they had a previous singing contract?? Can someone clarify that for me?
But most importantly..Justin!!! What great fun your blog is! I look forward each week, my guilty pleasure ritual, to reading your latest entry.....only let down when the blog ends!! They could only be better if they ended with a Justin tune!!!
Posted by Jo | February 17, 2008 8:53 AM
Posted on February 17, 2008 08:53
It states in the AI/19 contract they sign that they can't be signed to any other recording contracts when they audition/sign up for AI or have any pre-existing contracts. So I don't know maybe Justin can fully answer that as obviously he was on AI first season.....JUSTIN????? What exactly does it say on the contract???????
Hopefully, I can fly out to Beverly Hills March 8-9 to see you perform again and it's the weekend before my birthday :)!!!!!
Posted by Amanda | February 17, 2008 2:31 PM
Posted on February 17, 2008 14:31
OK, I found a snippet of the rules that are in the contract:
"#1 No contestant may have a current record deal or talent managment agreement. They could have had one in the past. #2 They must be between 16-28 as of July 28 of the year of audition. (must be at least 16 but not older than 28 as of July 28, 2007). #3 Must be a US citizen or a permanet resident. #5 Can not have finnished in the top 40 or better in any previous season. #6 Can not be employed by Fox, Fremantle 19 or any of its affiliates."
Hope that helps/answers the question.
Posted by Amanda | February 17, 2008 3:28 PM
Posted on February 17, 2008 15:28
Love the blogs and can hardly wait for the next one.
They are so interesting unique and personal and I really love hearing all your behind the scenes take on the show and on the industry.
I watched last night so that I would understand more when you comment about the individual performers.
You know what. I think some of these guys have decent voices, but except for the few that seemed genuinely excited and flabberghasted by the whole new experience of performing, it was kind of disappointing to see so many older more seasoned, even professional contestants competing to be the american idol.
What happened to the naivete and the innocence? What happened to finding undiscovered talent. (it is a pleasure to hear such a great undiscovered talent such as yourself is what Simon told YOU, after your beautiful audition, right?)
I thought the contestants were supposed to not be professionals?
I guess we'll see what transpires . Polished is good, some experience is good, but TOO polished and professional kind of takes the charm out of it, doesnt it?
But once again NOBODY reached out through the screen and grabbed my attention like YOU did that first season. Nobody has the charisma, the uniqueness, the gorgeous voice and Star Quality that you had and still have, and you remain as always, my FOREVER Idol!
I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE that this year you will be able to PERFORM on the Idol Stage, during the Idols Give Back Show.
Thats what I want for my birthday. To see you up there singing in front of millions of adoring fans.
Pretty Please!
Posted by pat | February 20, 2008 1:43 PM
Posted on February 20, 2008 13:43
What did you think of the Top 12 guys?
Posted by ExMenudoFan | February 20, 2008 2:55 PM
Posted on February 20, 2008 14:55
What did you think of the Top 12 guys?
Posted by ExMenudoFan | February 20, 2008 2:55 PM
Posted on February 20, 2008 14:55