By Scott Patrick Wagner
Fancast.com
"The Court Supreme," tonight's episode of Boston Legal, proves one thing conclusively: James Spader is the BOMB! But I'll get to that in a minute. Things open with Jerry, the spitting-sputtering-hopping lawyer with Asperger's Syndrome, as he spitter-sputters out that he has "lost his cherry" to his unbelievably beautiful new girlfriend. Equally beautiful Lorraine meets the girlfriend, and the glances between them indicate that something is up. Knowing Boston Legal, it could be hot girl-on-girl action, but the secret is actually that the girlfriend is a prostitute. Oops. Meanwhile, Alan (James Spader, aka the BOMB) is enlisted to represent a man with an I.Q. of 70 who is about to be put to death for the rape of a little girl. The case is having a final appeal before the — gulp! — Supreme Court. Alan is briefed by the Mooters (professional moot court types) that he must be extremely well-behaved before the Supremes or they'll shut him down and the mentally deficient guy — who we're pretty sure is innocent — will fry like a breaded catfish. Denny begs Alan to let tag along to the Supreme Court, and against his better inclinations Alan agrees.
Lorraine tells Jerry that his girlfriend is a hooker, and Jerry looks ready to do some serious sputtering. When the hooker comes in to take Jerry out to lunch, he makes her admit her hookerness. Even though she earnestly explains that she really, honestly loves him, Jerry orders her to get her hooker heinie out of his life. Jeez, Jerry, get a grip! Nobody was paying her to be with you. She was giving you pro bono (insert your own joke).
Alan and Denny are now before the Supreme Court, nervous. During the opposing arguments, Denny toots. Yes, I said toots. From the butt. Judge Ginsberg doesn't seem too pleased, and neither am I, thinking this isn't going to be a very interesting episode. But then Alan gets up to make his case. And he launches into the grandest diatribe we are likely to hear on TV this season. He not only fierily defends the accused, he accuses the Supreme Court of being partisan and skewed and lays into them. It is a speech overflowing with the outrage every sentient American has wanted to say to the Supreme Court for at least eight years, and it is thrilling! I got a phone call two-thirds of the way through the speech, and it was only then I realized I had barely been breathing for seven minutes. We won't know the verdict, what with the Supreme Court beating off to the tune of its own drum. However, the closing "bromance" scene between Denny and Alan featured a moment of such nuanced acting from Spader that his BOMBdom is clinched. I wasn't sure I needed to buy the DVD box of this season; this episode alone makes it an essential investment.
[Watch interviews with the cast.]
