By Scott Patrick Wagner
Fancast.com
Tonight's season finale of Brothers & Sisters, "Prior Commitments," was jam-packed with everything they probably would've spread out over three non-writers'-strike episodes. We had a catfight, a road trip, two artsy dead-dad flashbacks, two Uncle Sol moments, two Nora I-love-my-gay-son heartwarmers, barren Kitty, a gay wedding, a mystery sibling, and a kiss on a mountaintop.
Sarah asks Slutty Liar Holly if she knew about Liar Junior's real paternity before they all signed the new buy-out thing for Ojai Wine-Food Whatever. Holly says yes, and Sarah sprouts cat claws and calls Holly a bigger liar than a slut. Holly says, Oh no you di'in't! and Sarah says, You and what army, beyatch! and Holly says, Oh yeah, well you ugly! and Sarah says, Well you fat and I can take ugly pills! Or something like that. They were mad at each other. So Sarah goes obsessively looking for proof that Holly committed fraud, so they can sue her for all the millions that Dead Dad left her in his will.
At the family meeting announcing Rebecca's true non-paternity, Kevin busts in and says he's getting gay-married, and makes Nora promise not to get all Gidget-y with flowers and overdoing things. Nora swears restraint on the Convent San Tanco, and Kevin gets Kitty to be the minister (because Republican campaign managers must be like boat captains at sea, with the power to marry people).
Noble Scotty says he wishes his evil Arizonan homophobe parents could be at the wedding. When Scotty gets noble, he reminds me of Sally Field in those movies where she's poor and brave and wins Oscars; I wonder if Nora gave Scotty noble lessons. Kevin is moved by Noble Scotty, and has the urge to call the evil Arizonans. He is interrupted by Justin and Tommy, who had plans to take Kevin to a gay bar for his bachelor party.
The moment becomes weirder when Kevin informs them that the bar they had in mind is all-lesbian that night, and neither of the straight siblings finds that at all intriguing. They are much more interested in helping Kevin convert the evil Arizonans, and they go on a five-hour road trip. At the evil Arizona home, Kevin earnestly talks with Scotty-Dad and the lady doctor with the overbite from Chicago Hope, who is now Scotty-Mom. And we hate her. They won't be attending, but Scotty-Dad seems remorseful (albeit overbite-whipped) and gives Kevin a pair of meaningful cufflinks for Scotty to wear at his gay-wedding.
Perhaps sleep-deprived or having gay-wedding-day jitters, Kevin is having stylishly filmed flashbacks to memorable moments with Dead Dad, who mumbles something about some female business associate who died and somebody named Ryan. Kevin thought he was flashing back to this because there was talk about gay acceptance, but we will later learn that his subconscious is actually leading him to next season's big new plot device. But we won't put all that together until after Nora hugs Scotty and says happily that she's getting a new son. It feels a little weird, but when Nora later staunchly defends Kevin's right to have a beautiful wedding she gains a Place in the Heart of everyone, except perhaps evil Arizona overbite woman.
It's time for the wedding, and Kitty is ministerially regaling everyone with a story about how she and Kevin used to get pretend-married when they were small. Ew. I guess this story is supposed to make everybody who might be squemish about a gay wedding count their blessings that it's not incest. Otherwise, the ceremony is nice, and there is a stunning shot of Uncle Sol watching the two men exchange vows; the look on Sol's face is devastating, as we read all the years of repression and regret all over it.
Obsessive-compulsive Sarah calls all the sublings into a room to spout her new conspiracy theory about how Slutty Holly is now Fraudy Holly, and they all tell her to get a grip. Uncle Sol busts in, assumes they're all talking about him, and makes a big announcement that he's gay. Again. He seems to be getting into the rhythm of doing this, and we wonder if he will be adding music and jazz hands for the next time he big-announces it.
Kitty and Rob Lowe learn they won't be having babies with her uterus, so they decide they'll adopt. Rebecca and Justin meet on a mountaintop and kiss. But then they laugh, and decide, I guess, that they feel like brother and sister even though they aren't really brother and sister. So much for all that panting they were doing last week. And Kevin (who should be honeymooning — hello!) and Sarah put the pieces together and realize that there still is a mystery sibling, even though it's not Slutty Holly's spawn. It's that dead-flashback mystery female's son, Ryan. It can't be Ryan Reynolds — too old. Or Ryan O'Neal, way too old. Maybe it's Ryan Phillippe! We won't know till next year.
