Beauty And The Geek: The Final Four Face Off
It was the William and Jen show once again on Beauty and the Geek as Mr. Pizza Face and Ms. Fitness clashed and sighed at every turn, and the rest of the house grew tired of William’s negativity and red hair. The girls had to play Darwin and the boys had to bartend with flair, at least 16 pieces of it.
The girls’ challenge was to handle 7 hairy, slimy and segmented critters that would make Fear Factor producers blush. Shay started tearing up at the thought of touching spiders, and not only did she have to touch a spider she had to bare handedly transport a pink-toed tarantula, along with a corn snake, a giant grub, a millipede, an African emperor scorpion, and the old reality standby a Madagascar giant hissing cockroach and a horny toad (no, not Joe Rogan). If ever there was a challenge tailor made for a boy it was this one, and Sam easily sailed to victory by correctly placing 5 of the 7 critters by Latin name in their terrariums. The only snakes these girls have handled belong to guys like Sam, so naturally the cards were stacked against them. Watching Sam win every week is getting boring but I find myself silently rooting for him. In the context of these empty headed twits I find Sam’s competence (and pillow soft lips) pleasantly attractive.
More entertaining than an arachnophobe fingering a hairy spider was the sight of the geeks taking “flair” lessons from a competitive bar tender. William claims to have the hand eye coordination of a microsurgeon, but as the lesson progressed William fumbled his bottle like a drunk and buggered wide receiver. As the teams studied for their respective challenges William could no longer contain his contempt for Jen and his snide comments wore on a frustrated Nicole who had lobbied to eliminate them last week in Mexico. Jen even tried to extend a little fashion advice to her clueless partner and if you didn’t know he was such a negative Nellie you’d think all that eye rolling was the symptom of a stroke. Just as I was cheering for Sam I was crossing my fingers that William’s cockiness would cause him to fail, and as luck would have it he lacked charisma and dropped a bottled, wile LARPer Dave had the right combination of passion, self deprecation and friendliness to steal the competition from carbuncle covered William.
With Dave and Jasmine and Sam and Nicole safe it meant the other two teams were automatically destined for the elimination room. William and Jen were facing Josh and Shay, and as emotional as Shay was about spiders she was exponentially devastated to be leaving the game after having learned so much from her sweet and awkward Josh. She has been the Mama swan to his ugly duckling and has aided his transformation with firmness and humor in equal measure. Josh and Shay are the kind of people who are best helped by a show like this, and their fondness for each other is a testament to the real work and genuine feelings that develop in the house. As with every great reality tragedy their story was written in the stars and being the most likable pair they were destined for elimination. Now all we can do is hope and pray the only eye rolling William does is at his own elimination next week.