Fancast: Inside TV

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

(Editorial note: American Idol season one star Justin Guarini will be blogging exclusively for Fancast about Idol. Look for his posts following each show through the season.)

Hi, I’m Justin Guarini, and I hate reality television.

There. I said it.

But I love American Idol. I sincerely do.

You have no idea how much I love it, though you’ll find out. Over the course of this new season of American Idol, its seventh – and some are saying its most crucial – I’m going to blog my thoughts, observations, and experiences on the show, the kind you can only get from someone who has been through it from start to finale.

Let me start by acknowledging that last week was a tough one for former Idol Katherine McPhee, who was let go by her record label, thus joining Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard, who were also dropped by their labels. My thoughts?

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

The second night of American Idol came thundering in a little slimmer from its two-hour workout night before.

Will tonight focus on the good singers or the unwitting buffoons tossed to the lions for our drunken pleasure?

Our first Idol story is about Jessica Brown, a young lady who went from Methodist to meth addict. Photos of her mug shots and weathered crystal meth wrinkled face pop up to remind us why we shouldn’t do drugs, and that one specifically.

Jessica Brown is, so far (I’m watching and typing), the best thing to happen to Season 7. This is American Idol, folks. Good things happening to good people. Jessica told us her story, shared her darkest moments (photos at least) and told us of how she turned her life around, had two beautiful children…and then she proceeded to wow the judges straight to Hollywood.

When it comes to A.I., I can be cynical and crack jokes like anyone else. But Jessica is an angel who deserves praise. Everybody loves a reformed sinner -- unless of course you’re Satan.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

'San Diego! Drink it in. It always goes down smooth'
Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

Well, Ron, it sure does. Especially when you only have to drink a glass of it, instead of a gallon.

Tonight's show was only an hour (insert Hallelujah Chorus here). Nothing wrong with the opening two hour episodes, but you get the best stuff when it’s cut to 60 minutes. I watched last night’s episode with my old friend (and publicist) Jeff Ballard. He and I met back in the 'ye olde' days of season one during Hollywood week. At the time he was Seacrest's publicist and, as far as I'm concerned, one of the greatest assets I could have had at that point in my life.

Take note, dear reader: Listen to those special people who come across your path who are willing to tell you what you don't want to hear, namely the truth, even when they know it will hurt. Allow those special people to take you into their hearts and give you shelter from the rages and misfortunes that inevitably come with the gift of life. Inevitably they only want the best for you.

Jeff is one of those special people to me. He has been there for me from day one of my five year Idol journey, and he was there for me last night when I arrived back in L.A. in from Atlanta past 10:30 pm and raced home expecting to watch Idol, which I had thankfully DVR’d. Or so I thought. It turned out that I’d screwed up. Enter Jeff, who has three DVRs in his house and thankfully at least one of them had recorded Idol. I didn’t want to ask if he had more than one recording going. Sometimes you can know too much about friends. Ha!

At the end of this post, I put my top pet peeves about Idol contestants. My #1 peeve should have been “when your DVR screws up.” I hate that. Anyway.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

Ahhh! Weefweshed
-Lili Von Shtupp, Blazing Saddles

After a good nights sleep, I'm back and ready for more.

As I was saying last night, some people just can't see the writing on the wall. Even if it's printed in 50 foot high, bright yellow letters. They just keep on feeding the Idol-humiliation beast.

Well, even though it was the first, my year was no different.

I left off at my final day of auditions. Smaller line, and I don't think I saw any real whacko's. I am pretty sure all I could think about was not forgetting the words to my songs though...so they could have been floating around without my knowledge. Shortly thereafter, we were all escorted up to the middle floor of a nondescript building, and placed inside a huge dressing room. Lights around the mirrors, low slung tables, the whole nine yards.

Cue: the obligatory hour-on-end wait!! I think they at least had a water fountain in this building though...when you're a seasoned auditioner, you learn to appreciate the little things

So there we (the hopeful, bashful, and everyone in between) sat, chatting with one another and running lyrics through our heads. It was at this time when the rumors started about what we were actually all sitting there waiting for. Some said it was a contest, others a show, and there was a nagging rumor that Paula Abdul had something to do with it all.

Paula, eh?

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

Omaha!

Omaha?

Wait…seriously, Omaha?

Hard to believe, but I saw it with my own eyes: The glitzy Idol train pulled into Omaha. It made sense geographically. Omaha is smack-dab in the middle of the country. The producers must have thrown darts at the map to determine where they were going to hold auditions this year…and one of them sneezed in mid throw.

Seriously, good for Idol for embracing the heartland – and hey, I like a “corny” start as much as anyone. Here’s the amazing thing that got me right away. We saw 10,000 people lined up to test the Simon-infested water. In 2002, my year, 10,000 was the total number of hopefuls nationwide my year.

After Simon and Randy get their flirt-on (we get it, they like each other), we move to Chris Bernheisel:

Oh, Christopher. The people running the confessional must have had explosions of their own when in your sweet, albeit ambiguous voice, you said something to the effect of “I could explode and happiness is gonna go flying everywhere.”

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

So I read a comment on yesterday’s post from Tanya who said, “I live in Omaha and this was a big deal for American Idol to come to our city.” Indeed. I’m glad that I acknowledged that. Can’t ever get too jaded; after all this is America Idol, and it is big no matter where it sets down. Better still, Tanya wrote, “I agree with your take on rock n’ roll. I used to be a huge fan, but today most of it sounds the same and I too have turned off the radio to the mainstream stations. You can only hear the same twenty songs so often before boredom sets…”

My point – and the most interesting topic for someone like me in the music business. Earlier in the evening I was on the phone with a very dear friend of mine who informed me that Emo is dead. Not Elmo, thank goodness. But Emo. Emo as in the style of dress/music/eyeliner-application…

In addition to Emo, my conversation with her made me realize a slew of other significant shifts that have occurred in the rock community – and all right under my nose. I suddenly I realized that my understanding of our rockin’ brethren is terribly ignorant or out of step. So much that I didn’t even know I was ignorant or out of step. Living in Hollywood has clearly dulled my rock senses. The bottom line, whether we’re talking about the status of Emo or punk rock, head-banging heavy metal, indie or alt, is that no matter the label stuck to it, music is boring right now.

Why is that? Is it the business? The artists? Or the times we live in? And where does Idol fit into the equation? Is it adding to the problem? Is it encouraging anything new and exciting? Or is it reflective of what’s going on in that scene that Tanya, my friend and I feel is boring?

Where does rock fit into Idol? Chris Daughtry by many peoples accounts should have won, or at least come second in his year. I’m not denying the awesome talent of Carrie Underwood, but where is Bo Bice? I think that mainstream rock is perfect for Idol, because mainstream rock is safe. Idol is safe. That’s why we can sit down with the whole family and watch it. This is good for family, and a great hallmark of the show…but ultimately feeds a blah mainstream industry.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

We're into our fourth week of these posts. At this point, I'm going to assume that we don't have any secrets. It's personal between us. So I’m going be honest with you.

I’m in Breckenridge, Colorado. On vacation. I have shushed, and enjoyed unbridled joy on the slopes of Breck and Vail, and tonight I could have hunkered down on the sofa and watched Idol. But there was something else going on -- Fat Tuesday!

Yes. Mardi Gras.

In the media frenzy that surrounds the Presidential race, hence forth known as “Super Tuesday”, most people forget that it's actually Mardi Gras. AKA: Fat Tuesday. The special day some people use to abuse their livers in the name of mirth and joy. Could I be one of those people?

Three letters provide the answer: DVR.

I’m flying back to LA tomorrow morning at 8:15. That means I leave the mountains at 4:45am in order to get to Denver International Airport. That means you’re going to get my thoughts about Tuesday’s show in Wednesday’s wrap up. In the meantime, let me continue with some of my behind the scenes experiences in the pre-Hollywood rounds from season one.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

Wow, what a day. I did everything that I said I would. Got up at the crack o’dawn (3 hrs before actually, made my way from Breckenridge to Denver International, endured the hellish turbulence over the Rockies, endured the headache that comes from being so tired that you sleep with your chin on your chest (hopefully one day all airplane seats will go horizontal), picked up my car at the lot, drove to TVGuide to tape a Grammy special (short package, thank goodness), got home relaxed for about an hour…then had a long and wonderful conversation and some serious rounds of Rock Band with a best friend that I’d thought I’d lost (big relief).

I played drums and sang while she played guitar, then had a long-distance conversation with a beautiful woman that sparked an idea for a song, played the song out on my guitar to get the chord structure, heard from another best-friend that needs some bro-time. I think he and his girl are going through it; they make a great couple, but @#% happens to even the best of them, and I’m gonna go hang with him tonight and play some video games (that always works)…but I find myself here with you now.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

When I got home, I found out that I didn’t record Tuesday’s show. I think my DVR knew it was Fat Tuesday.

Ah well. That’s technology for ya. Can’t live without it, can’t yell at it when it doesn’t do what you tell it to do.

I’m waiting for the day when technology truly takes over our daily lives, even our thinking, when we implant chips in our body that helps us remember things, stick to a diet, and see. We’ll download music directly into our brains. That day is almost here. But here’s my concern: What will happen when it screws up? Will we have backup copies of our retinas just in case?

I digress.

I’d like to quickly answer a question posed to me from a Fancast user named Nal, who asked about Stevie Wonder. The song we sang together was “If We Ever Needed The Lord Before” by Take 6. First of all, Take 6 was a huge influence on me as a youngster. Their first album “Take 6” is still one of my all-time favorites. So Stevie and I, very informally sang that song together at The Trumpet Awards (you might have seen pictures of it, I was with Eric Benet as well). They sat a few tables behind me. I stopped by to say hi to them. Then I sang with The Man. Check out Take 6, if you don’t already know about them. They’re amazing.

Ok, so to wrap up my audition:

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

Well it’s finally time for the Hollywood round. It couldn’t come soon enough. I don’t know about you but I was just about fed up with all of the…oh, how to put this nicely…“not so talented” singers. Yes, ladies and germs, this is where we truly separate the wheat from the chaff. The stakes are higher, the judges get nastier, and the tears flow like wine. I remember those days well.

(insert Wayne’s World wavy retrospective montage)

It was the spring of 2003, and I was gearing up to make my first trek to Hollywood. I had been very fortunate to travel the world from a young age, yet the West Coast of my own country had to this point eluded me.

No matter, it was my destiny, and better yet it was my free destiny. That’s right, Fox and company footed the bill for us to come rolling out to La-La land. We were all living it up at 30,000 feet…in coach. Did, I mention it was free?

I love to travel, so my exit was no shock to my parents, no tearful goodbyes to offer in homage to the reality television Gods…just smiles, hope, and the “good luck’s” that everyone had given me- falling out of my pockets, and taking up most of the space in my luggage. Longest domestic US plane ride of my life…that was the long and short of it.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Channel

So, we’ve been through all the rough seas that are the sum total of Hollywood week. Or have we? I’m actually shocked that they’re picking the 24. Why wouldn’t Fox milk the living heck out of the process for more advertising dollars? What’s that you say…because this season it's about the contestants. I got it!

Rather than pick up with my story, I'm going to make you wait and continue discussing last night's Top 24 show. (I'm actually writing as I watch it, so you'll have to put up with the lapse in time. Just pretend we're all watching together at some joint in Hollywood. Let's try that sometime. Maybe Fancast will kick in for the chips.)

For starters, let me say I love Ryan. But is it just me or is the phrase “This……(pregnant pause)…. is American Idol” is becoming a parody of its self? Let me hear from you in that comment section. In fact, go on and on telling me what you like or don't like or ask some questions and I'll do my best to come up with answers.

Then what's up with that elevator? The elevator of death. I thought we had outlawed torture in this country. Right? I’m so glad that I never had to do that. We waited in a room together, deep in the bowels of the Civic Center.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Well, here we go.

Finally.

The top 24 get to duke it out. The excellent will separate themselves from the good, and the good will fight among themselves for the few precious spots that will remain in Idol’s top 12. I don’t know about you but I’m so glad that we’ve gotten past the ‘make fun’ stage of the Idol proceedings. If I had to hear and see one more turkey… I would have pulled my hear out, and that would have upset a lot of people (but mostly me). Now we can see who has the talent, the guile, and most of all the strength to make it to the big stage.

Guile and strength you ask? Well, they’re all talented in some capacity, no-doubt, but there are many things that you learn (quickly if you plan to stay in the game) when you experience the entertainment industry at a high level like we’re dealing with tonight. Two of the many, are: Guile, and strength. Politics are another, but it’s extremely complex, and unwise to speak about, so forget it.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Lets continue with the guys.

Danny Noriega-
In a word- uncomfortable. Everything seemed over the top. He is a wonderful singer, and has a sassy attitude that when put on a leash, as it were, makes for great television. I just think that he took a song by a beloved American icon and turned it into a really bad cabaret act. Then starts a cat fight with Simon.

Another important thing to remember: Always know your audience. People in the heartland primarily watch this show. Take a non-derogatory look at Danny, and also take a non-derogatory look at the Mid-West. Finish that line of thought. I would, but no doubt it would be misconstrued and used against me. I don’t like bear traps much less sticking my face into a loaded one.

Luke Menard-
Funny enough I went to High School with a bunch of his cousins. My first impression is really good karaoke. He’s missing notes on the end’s of phrases. He can sing, but I want the song to take off. These rounds are about making an impression, and impact. The fact that it’s the 60’s does not help. The whole how seems to be struggling due to the fact that it’s the 60s.

I love Simon. He’s right. It’s about so much more than singing, especially now. I like the way that Luke handled it. He was confident without being cocky. I think that he fought valiantly against a very accurate assessment by Simon, and did the best damage control job I’ve seen in a while.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Is it me, or are the pauses between ‘this’, ‘is’, and ‘American Idol’, are getting longer and longer? Can't be me. Also, do I hear an excuse being thrown out about the sickness of the crew? There is a bad flu going around. I heard the government is considering redoing the flu vaccine. I wonder if it's because of the general population or the AI singers? Hmm. I just hope this mention doesn’t mean that the singers won’t sing well.

Kristi Lee Cook-
Great kick off. She’s got a subtle appeal about her. I said on my TVGuide show Idol Wrap, that I was smitten, and this performance proves why. She seems like a simple country girl that’s comfortable up there on stage. I liked it, but am looking forward to when they get over the actual fear of performing for the first time. I think the judges were a little hard on her…but I’m biased. I’m a sucker for blondes, especially sweet and talented ones.

Joanne Borgella-
Nerves. I feel bad for her cause I’ve been there before, even after singing a full season of Idol. I came back and sang a song that I wasn’t comfortable with on the show, in order to promote my album, and I was a ball of nerves. Joanne os shaking and it shows in her voice. I really like this girl and hope that she makes it through.

Alaina Whittaker-
Young, fun , vibrant girl. This time when they gave her more camera time she used it to show us that she’s sweet, and naturally funny. She gives me a Kelly vibe (personality-wise). For someone so young, a great and centered performance. She really sines and shows off her voice, and does something with the song that really makes it interesting.

I think she’ll be in top 5 if she keeps up this kind of work. I think it’s hilarious that she had never heard that song before…but she is 16.

OK, I’ll say it now. I’m sick of people throwing up Idol gang signs. You know what I’m talking about? It's during the ‘vote for me’ portion of the show. I was guilty of it too. Sadly, I even licked one of the numbers. Sorry, but I wish someone had told me not to. It just looks silly.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

What a wonderful experience these contestants are going through. Yes there’s stress, anxiety, and (this year) severe sickness…but these kids (I cringe to call them that considering I’m not that much older) are being treated to the good life. If only for a little while.

When I see the photo shoots with the private jet, and the video montages that make them all look like stars- even the people who are plainly uncomfortable, are made to look good- I think back to the ambush shoots they did with us. Yes, ambush. We were very often not made aware of the fact that we had a photo shoot, in the early stages. One particular top 24 ambush memory surrounds one sunny morning in Los Angeles.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that the audition shows we watch are taped months in advance. Even then, people don’t realize that the top 24 shows are taped, edited and aired a few days later. The first live show we’ve seen this year is Thursday night’s show. The contestants have been chilling in Hollywood for at least a week or two before tonight doing the photo shoot, video shoot, and living it up in general. The same applied for us, but we stayed in the lap of luxury for almost a month.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

So USA Today’s Marco R. della Cava, as well as others, tried to stir up some controversy recently by pointing out that Idol contestants Carly Smithson, Kristy Lee Cook and Michael Johns have had considerable professional experience. My take? This is a bunch of microwaved crap. Who cares? Everyone who has gotten to the finals has had experience! That’s just a fact, and it’s no surprise to the producers or the judges. On the other hand, having experience doesn't guarantee you'll win or even make it to the finals.

There’s only one qualification when you audition for Idol (and from the comical, often cruel vignettes in the opening shows we know it’s not singing talent): You have to be completely unsigned and unaccountable to any talent agency, artist management, or record label. That’s it.

If a contestant is lucky to be one of the 1% that make it through the first rounds and given the chance to go to Hollywood, then a thorough background check is performed. Idol producers want to avoid a revival of the negative "American Felon" press that blindsided them the second year. By Hollywood week, everything the gossip websites and the news outlets have "unearthed" is old news to Idol – and perhaps even leaked by Idol to get press.

But back to the point. American Idol is about talent. It’s about taking very talented, unsigned artists, then using the show to develop both the artist’s talent and a fan base, and then finally unleashing them to the world and making as much money off them as possible. That formula has made 19 Entertainment a multi-billion dollar company. American Idol was never about taking inexperienced people off of the street who can sing and turning them into superstars. That is the fantasy of Idol. The reality? It's harrowing to go onsage and sing in front of millions of people. Someone with absolutely no experience would melt from nerves. No one has ever won idol without having had professional experience. Let’s take a look:

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Before I even push play on my DVR, I pray for one thing…well, two things. No more 60’s music (I know that prayer will be answered), and no more nerves. The latter is a stretch; there will always be nerves. But you know what I mean. On the previous show, the contestants were wracked by nerves, and it showed in their performances. With up-tempo stuff, you can get away with fudging notes and even lyrics. But ballads reveal everything that’s right, or wrong with a vocalist. On a slow songs, it’s up to the vocalist to fill the space with long luxurious notes and phrases. Vocal nakedness...some people don’t sound good naked. But this is where the great are separated from the good and so far the great are few and far between. Then again aren’t they always? We pick our favorites, and the front-runners always immerge at this stage of the game. It’s the sleepers I’m interested in. Will we see a surge from anyone this show?

Now to the DVR...

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Ever wonder why the judges and viewers at home often have wildly divergent opinions on how a song sounds? It’s because the acoustics in that studio are completely different than on television. Back on season one, we were horrified when we discovered that fact. I remember it well. We got home at night after our performance and for some reason Kelly and I turned on the West Coast broadcast of the show, something we hadn't done till then. We watched almost as a joke. Since we had lived it only a few hours before, why bother watching again?

But as soon as we heard the sound coming out of the TV, both of uscringed and let out a cry to the effect of “ohhhhewww, do we really sound like that?” Everyone in the house heard our shrieks, came running, and huddled around the TV. "Hey, I thought we'd sounded good?" "Is this for real?" Ugh, I don’t think I had good dreams that night. But hey, no such problems for Carly Smithson last night, right?

Survey says Carly is the clear front-runner coming into last nights broadcast. Even with bronchitis and God knows what else going on her poor lungs, she managed to blow the judges, the audience, and most of the competition out of the water last week. We also came to find out that Carly owns a tattoo shop with her husband, who has a wickedly tatted-up face. She also slings Guiness at a pub down the street. God bless America -- and God bless Guiness. Not that you need to know, but it’s my favorite beer next to Yuengling.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

The obligatory group song opens the show, and no matter what, I always get the taste of throw-up in my mouth. That’s just watching it. Imagine how we felt doing it. Remember the first “California Dreaming” group video from my year? We hated doing that cheese. It was cute at the time -- I’ll admit that -- but all of us thought it was really bad. At least now they have a band and backup singers and choreography…while we had to lipsync sitting around a fire. I might be a little harsh, but it’s probably because I’m a little jealous of the production value that the contestants have now. Either way it rolls off my back like water off of a duck.

The Guys
Nerve racking, but I’m 1 for two. I thought that Jason should go home and he did. His performance was just too corny. What a nice guy, but not the stuff an American Idol winner is made of. I think that Danny made it solely on his personality. It must be so tough to sing your way off of the show. I feel for Jason, but those are the breaks.

I remember being so nervous that I would have to run a few laps around the studio the day of eliminations just to get the nervous energy out of me. It also brought the sweat out of me…so I had to change clothes. The judging days were, understandably the worst days of our lives that Summer. The only way we made it through was to band together and take care of each other. Which is why it’s always nice to see the other contestants give hugs and pats.

The Ladies
Again I was 1 for 2. I guess that makes it 2 for 4. I’ll take 50% any day. Maybe they put the obvious two together and shocked us by only eliminating one. Alexandrea’s Grandmother was so sweet, but not even an angel like her can save a contestant from elimination when they pick the wrong song at the wrong time. In a surprising move David cried over her and it makes you wonder what kind of real relationships (friendly or otherwise…but I meant friendly) these contestants form behind the scenes.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Just when you thought the Idol boat had stopped rocking, scandal rears it’s head. Not only do we get a whiff of a greased up stripper story, but we also get a real nightmare before Christmas and some little hands making big moves. Ahh, Idol, you never cease to amaze us.

It’s been in all the papers, and smeared online, so I won’t go into too much detail. David Hernandez was, according to reports, a male stripper who danced nude at a male nightclub in Phoenix, AZ. Danny Noriega left a Christmas greeting for his friends out in cyberspace…a Christmas greeting that included Santa being naughty in an X-rated manner. Last but not least…well, I guess least, if you consider that every girl’s probably done it to a friend (at least once) was Remiele M’s grabbing of a co-workers breast above the shirt. Got it?

While the kids didn’t exactly commit felonies, I think that it’s odd how the Idol snoops missed such blaring hiccups in their exhaustive background searches missed these incidents. Or did they miss them? My logic leads me to think, or assume at least, that they didn’t. I mean come on.

All you had to do was Google Danny and peal back a few layers to uncover the Christmas rape wish video, right? Or was it a scorned lover, or friend, that called it into TMZ? The possibilities are endless. Then poor, embarrassed David Hernandez. Or perhaps he isn’t embarrassed. He had to have had at least one W-4 right? I’m sure that record was somewhere to be found. RM’s photo is the only anomaly, and that could have happened to anyone.

What do I make of all this?

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

Well. It’s that time. The last of the women step up and do their best to make good. I’m beginning to get a little bored though, to be perfectly honest. Scandals don’t excite me, talent does, real talent, and this years crop is turning out to be an exciting race…that has a very predictable finish. In three words:

Carly and David.

I am excited to see who gets into the top 12, and I know that each week, we’ll be shocked to see someone go like we always are but is it all just a moot point? We know (barring any major collapses) that David and Carly are going to be the final two…so you see why I’m starting to feel a little bored by the show. How do you feel about it?

At this point, I’m waiting to see the sleepers come out. The Boys are looking like it’s going to be a battle between David Archuleta and David Cook. Who among the girls is going to step into the ring?

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

The Top 12 Elimination…Sounds like a great movie title…or a really bad one.

The night started off in its usual fashion, with the group song. Now I’m not a fan of the group songs, but I have to admit that I actually liked this one, over-all…I guess that it must have been because it was the Beatles catalogue (lol)…no, it was actually a good performance by the contestants. I’ll admit it.

As for the news that next week will also feature Beatles music, well, that tells you a) that Lennon and McCartney were amazingly prolific, as well as sensational songwriters; and b) that Idol knows a special thing when they’ve got it (they’ve been trying for years to get the rights to use the dynamic duo’s songs)! Hey, if you don't agree, try to see it my way...

The axe fell first on Syesha! I was a little surprised, but not so much so when Carly, Michael, and Jason were standing in a row with her. I really like Syesha, but there’s something that always bugs me when I see her. She just doesn’t seem happy, or maybe she’s just not comfortable on the show. I might just be assuming here, but I trust my gut when it comes to the emotional essence of people, and I think I’m a good judge of character. Every time I see her on TV talking, and especially of late, she just seems like she’s getting by. Smiling like everything is ok, but her eyes don’t match. Which leads me to wonder…is the schedule is a little too much for her?

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight, TV Guide Network

The show kicked off with the usual banter, a oxygen-deprived Randy, a beautiful Paula, and an unimpressed Simon Cowell. I love Simon, much like the rest of America, but I’ve noticed an alarming trend developing. Every episode he seems to face further and further away from the camera. He started facing forward early on in the season, then made the transition. At first his right arm became had a recurring guest-role on Paula’s chair. Then it became an accessory. Now it’s a permanent fixture. On top of all that he seems to be favoring his right side so much that he’s become parallel to the stage. Perhaps Simon keeps his $40 million-dollar per-season salary strapped to the right side of his torso, waist and thighs…and is beleaguered by the massive effort it takes to sit up straight? Has there been some undisclosed reverse-stroke that makes him shy the right side of his face away from the camera? Is it that Paula’s new jewelry line has a magnetic polarity that only seems to attract Simon’s fillings? The world may never know.

I just think he’s bored. The confirmation will come when we see the back of his head for the whole broadcast.

But how can he possibly be bored by the Beatles? Let’s get real. What could be better than two jam-packed hours of Beatles covers?? A sensual massage from Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt (depending on your preference)? No! I’ll tell you what could be better…Another two jam-frickin-packed hours of Beatles music!!! Wake up Simon! Spin around! Let us see your left side!

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

Once again Simon has strapped himself to Paula’s chair. Once again the group song ensues.

~sigh~

I’ve been reading a lot of press on Tuesday’s show, and it’s pretty clear that no one liked the second helping of the Beatles that the Idols served up. To be blunt, it was undercooked. In defense of Idol though, I’ve been told that there was a mentor issue, and the producers had their hands forced a bit. I think that something fell through, or went wrong, so they had to do another week of Beatles…this is a rumor though, and I don’t have a shred of evidence. I hope that my love for Idol and the my honest hope for the success of the Idols will be enough to help me, help you, help me, get over it and move on.

A point of humor:

A person named ‘Spring’ posted a comment (thank you Spring and everyone else who gives me feedback by the way) in French. I don’t speak the language so I tried an online French translator…this is what I got. Seriously.

Posted by ‘Spring’:
‘vous semblez merveilleux dans des culasses serrées, trop et vous devriez porter le themn plus souvent.’

Translation: "You seem marvelous in gripped cylinder heads, surplus and you should carry the them more often."

I’m not kidding. I know that’s not what you meant ‘Spring,’ so I tried another…just to see what I could find. At this point I know enough Spanish and Latin (and English) to put 2&2 together but I’m interested to see what the internet spits out…

The other translation: "You seem wonderful in squeezed cylinder heads, too and you should carry the them more often.'’

Either you’re making a bawdy engine joke, or you like me in tight pants. Either way, my tight pant-wearing days are long-gone…at least I hope they are. Enjoy the photos of me in them from yester-year…cause I’ve got ninjas hunting them down and destroying them.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

There are times when I find myself plagued by the most desperate feelings of loneliness and unworthiness. When I sit in my lavish apartment -- lavish compared to the way most of the world lives -- and have no clue what to do next. Oh, there are things to be done: meetings to take, songs to be finished, taxes to be completed, scripts to memorize, a car to be sold, a new car to be bought, two television shows to pitch, an endless stream of emails to write, interviews to be prepared for, blogs to write, trips to plan, friends to call, family to see, rooms to clean, clothes to give away, checks to deposit, checks to write, a new album to finally put out, show venues to book, a guitar to become more proficient at.…and they all seem to swirl around me at these times like my own personal Sirocco. It would be rather comic, or perhaps tragic, to see the trials and tribulations that make a daily habit of banging around in our heads, released to swirl about us in plain view wherever we went. Many of the most seemingly confident people we know would probably never leave their house. When I’m caught in such a gale, I can’t seem to see anything and so I just go to sleep, regardless of the hour.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

…and then there were nine.

Now that we’ve established the top ten, we know who will: tour, play to thousands of fans for at least a month of shows, make loads of money off each nights performance, rake in merchandising monies, experience the road trip of a lifetime…etc. We’ve got to get down to the nitty-gritty of picking a winner. A much more difficult situation than we’ve found ourselves in during previous years. In seasons gone by we’ve known (even if we didn’t want to admit it to ourselves) the difference between the contestants who were truly the talented, and the destined for early release. The one’s who managed to hang on because of drama, and the ones who stirred dramatic responses from us. The ones who had a spark (no pun intended) of untapped genius, and the ones who couldn’t find a match to save their lives.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

I’m not going to get into whether there’s been a more photogenic American Idol contestant, but I bet none has had as many photos of themselves downloaded as Antonella Barba. We've all seen 'em. Nuff said. Atontella came to mind the other week after the pseudo scandal broke about David Hernandez's past as a male dancer at a nightclub in Phoenix. It made me think about how Antonella weathered her own scandal, and what she’s doing now. It took some time before we connected on the phone, but she turned out to be as lovely as ever, a great girl. Here’s a transcript of our conversation.

Q: How have things been going with you since you left American Idol?
A: Well I am back at school right now. I was a junior at the time [of Idol]. So I had to make up some core classes so I’m trying to finish up my senior year…finish where I started before I move on too quickly.

Q: What are you studying?
A: Architecture…

Q: Have you abandoned music?
A: Well no…it’s just very hard for me to be patient right now because music is all I want to be doing. But I don’t want to just leave my degree half complete and not finish it. I’m still trying to write a little bit. I’m working on stuff. It’s hard to be patient because I can’t be doing it full time until I’m done with school.

Q: Let me bring up David Hernandez. When you saw him going through his bit in the news, how did it feel to you? And how did it compare to what you went through?
A: It’s a very difficult thing to go through…just being under scrutiny and having people find out things that you didn’t want them to find out about. It’s a hard thing to go through; primarily your family and friends like seeing things that you wanted to keep private. They are two different situations, though, because I guess what he had been doing wasn’t a private thing, it was public. What I had done was something that was very private. [Those photographs] were stolen and exploited. It was very embarrassing. Easier said than done, but you have to learn from everything that happens. At least I went through the worst of probably anything I’ll ever experience in the industry, which is just scrutiny and people saying false and bad things about you.

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

HELLO DOLLY!!!

If there was anyone who could shake up Idol this year and breathe even more life into an already lively show…it was Dolly.

As we head toward the backstretch, the mentors come rolling in. I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite obscure movies of all time is 9 to 5. Do you remember that one? If not look it up and rent it. It has a knock-out cast, and Dolly Parton was the stuff a man’s dreams are made of in that movie. Honestly, she was one of the most stunning southern peaches of her day..at least to me anyway…but I’m from Georgia, so I’m biased. Could also be the fact that she’s a blonde…sue me.

Hey, this is about Idol isn’t it. Well then, back to it…

This year has seen the evolution of the mentor. Before, it seemed as though the mentors were there less to help the kids broaden their horizons, and more to use Idol as an advertizing platform to broaden their own. Remember Gwen Stefani? She looked like she flat out didn’t want to be there during her interview where she talked about the kids. In her defense, Sanjaya murdered one of her songs in cold blood right before her very eyes, and she had to pretend to be cool about it.

Well, truth (from my perspective) be told it’s not all about the kids this year, but it is more about them. Dolly’s got an album out now that I’m sure she’s pushing (why wouldn’t she), but they really showed the kids working with her, and her giving them some feedback and encouragement. It seems more balanced to me this year, and the mentors are still spared from having to judge the kids during the live broadcast.

Brooke White
“Joline”- Singing one of Dolly’s most famous songs must not have been an easy choice. She mentioned in the pre-interview that Dolly was/is a tiny woman that is “huge”, and she hit it right on the head. I think that Brooke was a pleasure to watch, and without trying to imitate, did a good job getting into the song. I felt a bit of a disconnect with the deeper aspects of the song though, and I think I know why. The poor girl had to learn the song and then play the guitar as well…in short it looked like she was thinking…and God knows that I would have been too. Simon called her out for not being connected, but let him try and live the life of an Idol for a week. Lets see how he reacts when we strip him of his assistants for a day…lol!

By Justin Guarini
Fancast American Idol Correspondent
Host of Reality Chat: Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight,
TV Guide Network

I was sitting at CBS Television city, waiting for the show to commence, and laughing to myself. It’s always a pleasure to be there. Even when I have to wait a while before I get to do my interview. I like to think of my time there as a family reunion, and I feel fortunate to be a small wheel in the workings of television history. But enough musing about me; fast forward to the show.

Last night I was given the privilege of watching the show from inside the green room, where I sat with various Fox, Fremantle, Idol execs, and their families. My publicist Jeff was there too. He’s always good for a laugh, and it was nice to spend some time with him. I’ve been in the room at various moments throughout the years and it used to be an area that was basically cordoned off by huge, heavy black curtains. A faux room that was nicely appointed with tables, a wet bar (lots of coke products) and a catering for the guests.

Wel